Nobody cares.

Sometimes i wish i was dumb. Life is so much easier for dumb people.

Even if other people call you dumb, you'd probably still think they like you, because you're dumb.

When you're intelligent, you know things about things that other people your age don't. So when engaging in conversation, they don't agree with you, because they've never been through what you have.

I know that everyone has been through their own struggles in life. And that no one can understand what any other person has been through.

But at least i still try. I'd really rather listen than anything else.

I'm done talking. All i do is piss people off, and ruin all the relationships i have.

No wonder none of my friends from other towns try and keep in contact with me.

I just wanna fall into a permeant sleep. I don't even care about life anymore.

Maybe because within a week i threw my own life away. It no longer exists.

The only person i can talk to is my mom, and the only thing that makes me smile is my cats.

I sound like the perfect recipe for a crazy cat lady. Yay me.

I'm so tired all the time, yet i can't sleep. My whole body hurts and all i can do is not cry.

I need someone who'll just listen, and comfort me. I don't need your words or wisdom. All i need is for you to listen to me and care.

I just need one person, to actually care.

I could die right now, just in search of peace.

Bill

You were the only man i ever called daddy. You were the closest thing i've had to a father. All this time i've felt abandoned. I felt like i didn't matter to you.

And then 10 years later i get a message from you on facebook, like nothing ever happened, like you never hurt me. I didn't reply, because i didn't know what to say. Telling you that you were the first man to break my heart just didn't seem like something i should say over facebook.

The fact that you keep trying makes me feel better though.

And the fact that you left us alone because Todd threatened you, makes a little difference too.

I know i haven't been replying to you for a long time now, but i think i'm almost ready.
Fixing things with you, i think, will really help me.

Dad???

Zack

I've been sad lately. I know why, but i keep telling myself i don't. It's easier that way. I like it when things are easy. But i do know why, and it still hurts. All i need is someone to show me i'll find someone else i can love just as much. Someone who won't be able to just leave. That's all anyone ever does. I miss him so much. Yet, saying that feels wrong. Because i know he used me. But i know he loved me too. At least i thought he did. But if he really did love me then he wouldn't have left. I doubt he thinks about me, and i doubt i'll ever see him again. I've been really good at letting him go. But it cost me my feelings. All i wanna do i cry. I don't even want him back. I just wanna be happy again.

I try. I really do. But being alone sucks. I mean i know i can handle it, but everyone knows being with someone is so much better than being by yourself.

I've learned my lesson.

With happiness, comes sadness. With love, comes hate.

But that doesn't mean i'm not gonna do it again.

She told me to write.

Writing's supposed to be a good way to get your feelings out. It makes sense though, to make sense of all the random thoughts going around in my head. So, here it goes..i guess.