Bill

You were the only man i ever called daddy. You were the closest thing i've had to a father. All this time i've felt abandoned. I felt like i didn't matter to you.

And then 10 years later i get a message from you on facebook, like nothing ever happened, like you never hurt me. I didn't reply, because i didn't know what to say. Telling you that you were the first man to break my heart just didn't seem like something i should say over facebook.

The fact that you keep trying makes me feel better though.

And the fact that you left us alone because Todd threatened you, makes a little difference too.

I know i haven't been replying to you for a long time now, but i think i'm almost ready.
Fixing things with you, i think, will really help me.

Dad???

Zack

I've been sad lately. I know why, but i keep telling myself i don't. It's easier that way. I like it when things are easy. But i do know why, and it still hurts. All i need is someone to show me i'll find someone else i can love just as much. Someone who won't be able to just leave. That's all anyone ever does. I miss him so much. Yet, saying that feels wrong. Because i know he used me. But i know he loved me too. At least i thought he did. But if he really did love me then he wouldn't have left. I doubt he thinks about me, and i doubt i'll ever see him again. I've been really good at letting him go. But it cost me my feelings. All i wanna do i cry. I don't even want him back. I just wanna be happy again.

I try. I really do. But being alone sucks. I mean i know i can handle it, but everyone knows being with someone is so much better than being by yourself.

I've learned my lesson.

With happiness, comes sadness. With love, comes hate.

But that doesn't mean i'm not gonna do it again.

She told me to write.

Writing's supposed to be a good way to get your feelings out. It makes sense though, to make sense of all the random thoughts going around in my head. So, here it goes..i guess.